I can relate to much of what you say. I am 85, a retired speech therapist for the Head Start Program for over 30 years. Another low paying job. I still marvel at the fact that I was paid to play with children.
Lots of energy at 20. But not a clue about me or the world. “I” was not well formed then. Lacking depth, understanding and confidence. I would not want to repeat that year or era. Much happier now even though the energizer bunny has used up most of his battery supply.
Thank you for this Mary. You are making me think and rethink. And yes, twenty. The sense of possibility and confidence are the things that stand out for me. Though I’m not sure I am quite ready to move from ‘the age of doing’ to ‘the age of being’ yet!
Tried to copy a poem by Mary Oliver that I ran across tonight. I'll send it to your email. Your Mountains have called out a lot of interest in this topic.
I love this reflection post! I was forced to find acceptance with my body no longer being able to do what I loved (distance running) in my mid-20s. That decade ended for me at about 24, and so did that carefree identity. BUT! More than 20 years later, I figured out how to still have moments of my carefree 20s - especially starting a new relationship at 43 - one that I longed for since my 20s. Life is a series of letting-go's, letting-be's, and let's-see-what-happens. Would we want it any other way? Another brilliant post, my friend! Keep going :)
I remember giving up the runner girl identity. Though I wasn't elite, I had run since I was 14 and it was hard to let go after so many decades. Also the firefighter era. But we have the chance to have so many eras it seems.
What’s weird for me - I actually have always felt older than my age. I’ve never considered that until reading this article.
But at the same time, I still kind of have that same feeling at 38 that you’re describing at 20. Still feel the optimism of what’s to come, feel that I can reinvent myself as needed, etc.
Interesting! I wrote this after reading yours.. I still felt really young at 38 and it still felt like endless possibility. I retain some of that but as an older person I approach it differently. Like possibility but tinged with knowing it's shorter in lifespan so do it all today!
Kevin is right, one of the true graces of growing older is coming to the realization that age is irrelevant, the wanderlust, optimism, reinvention, desire, whatever - that is a mentality, not an age at all. to look back on the age of twenty with misty mixtures of regret and and admirations discounts the potentials of the present, and the future to come. Moreover, dwelling on the mistakes as mistakes - instead of learning is also the wrong lens. We all made choices when we were younger, to dwell on the what could have been or what might've we done is pointless, the reality is that it is done and we are simply the amalgam of those experiences. Consider - would the wandering, cash strapped person develop into a reflective and insightful blogger later? or perhaps would the choice to make money and settle result in a cynical and bittered suburban hausfrau? who knows, all we do know is we are who we are with the gift of life moving forward. take experience, savor its lessons, and regret nothing. our children will make their own choices - some good, some bad. they will have a life, perhaps good, perhaps bad, but I suspect it will be a bit of both, and that indeed - is life.
"Oh honey. You had no idea." So true.
I was so critical of myself. Led to some poor decisions.
Oh yeah. But we made it through!
I can relate to much of what you say. I am 85, a retired speech therapist for the Head Start Program for over 30 years. Another low paying job. I still marvel at the fact that I was paid to play with children.
Love this. My dad was a speech therapist (professor). He wrote several textbooks that you may have used. Lon Emerick.
He was my mentor. He changed my life. I love reading your writings. I see him in you. He was so proud of you and your sister.
Oh! I didn't know this. Thank you for remembering him.
Wow! This is so cool.
Why do such awesome memories bring tears to my eyes?
Because they were so great and we are so lucky to experience them!
Indeed💕
Lots of energy at 20. But not a clue about me or the world. “I” was not well formed then. Lacking depth, understanding and confidence. I would not want to repeat that year or era. Much happier now even though the energizer bunny has used up most of his battery supply.
Great article for reflecting on a life.
Ha. You're right. I kind of barreled through life without much of a clue.
Thank you for this Mary. You are making me think and rethink. And yes, twenty. The sense of possibility and confidence are the things that stand out for me. Though I’m not sure I am quite ready to move from ‘the age of doing’ to ‘the age of being’ yet!
May we never move from the age of doing even if it looks different than before!
I will drink a toast to that!
You know I would pay for your grief letters. You're a thoughtful woman and a marvelous writer.
Thank you 💓
The woods are my peace and I feel nearest to God there.
I definitely feel peaceful and spiritual there too.
Great post. The best of my 20s were in Montana, also getting paid to hike and do the outdoors. All of this resonates with me.
Tried to copy a poem by Mary Oliver that I ran across tonight. I'll send it to your email. Your Mountains have called out a lot of interest in this topic.
Apparently so! So many good thoughts.
I love this reflection post! I was forced to find acceptance with my body no longer being able to do what I loved (distance running) in my mid-20s. That decade ended for me at about 24, and so did that carefree identity. BUT! More than 20 years later, I figured out how to still have moments of my carefree 20s - especially starting a new relationship at 43 - one that I longed for since my 20s. Life is a series of letting-go's, letting-be's, and let's-see-what-happens. Would we want it any other way? Another brilliant post, my friend! Keep going :)
I remember giving up the runner girl identity. Though I wasn't elite, I had run since I was 14 and it was hard to let go after so many decades. Also the firefighter era. But we have the chance to have so many eras it seems.
Truly appreciate this relatable post!
Thanks! So good to hear.
What’s weird for me - I actually have always felt older than my age. I’ve never considered that until reading this article.
But at the same time, I still kind of have that same feeling at 38 that you’re describing at 20. Still feel the optimism of what’s to come, feel that I can reinvent myself as needed, etc.
I hope that feeling always remains!
Interesting! I wrote this after reading yours.. I still felt really young at 38 and it still felt like endless possibility. I retain some of that but as an older person I approach it differently. Like possibility but tinged with knowing it's shorter in lifespan so do it all today!
Kevin is right, one of the true graces of growing older is coming to the realization that age is irrelevant, the wanderlust, optimism, reinvention, desire, whatever - that is a mentality, not an age at all. to look back on the age of twenty with misty mixtures of regret and and admirations discounts the potentials of the present, and the future to come. Moreover, dwelling on the mistakes as mistakes - instead of learning is also the wrong lens. We all made choices when we were younger, to dwell on the what could have been or what might've we done is pointless, the reality is that it is done and we are simply the amalgam of those experiences. Consider - would the wandering, cash strapped person develop into a reflective and insightful blogger later? or perhaps would the choice to make money and settle result in a cynical and bittered suburban hausfrau? who knows, all we do know is we are who we are with the gift of life moving forward. take experience, savor its lessons, and regret nothing. our children will make their own choices - some good, some bad. they will have a life, perhaps good, perhaps bad, but I suspect it will be a bit of both, and that indeed - is life.
I will have to sit with this for a bit before responding. Thank you for the thoughtful comment.